Sharing

I wrote a post on my personal blog not long ago called "Tell the Truth." It was a post about how I wish moms would share with each other more. I think many of us feel the need to present ourselves as perfect moms who have it all together. I'm not sure if this is because we feel the need to be Superwomen or if we simply fear judgment. Maybe both. However, I realize I haven't really been upholding my side of the bargain. I need to share now and then if I'm going to complain about others not doing so.

Being a working mom is harder than I ever thought it would be. I miss my baby so much! I am SO lucky and SO blessed to have my mother taking care of the baby right now. She gives him so much love and undivided attention. And he loves her. In fact, he ignores me when she is around. That hurts a little bit but I am happy that he has such a connection to her. I am starting to look at part-time daycare options and that is pulling at my heart as well. I worry about how it will affect the baby and also how it will affect my relationship with him. Will he bond with his new caretaker like he does his Grandma? Will Mom just run a distant third? I am embarrassed to even admit all of this because it sounds selfish and unreasonable. But hey, I am irrational now and then.

This morning, when I gave Baby to his daddy and said goodbye, he started fussing and crawled over to me and pulled up on me. He wanted me to pick him up. I started crying at having to leave him but it also made me feel a little better. He didn't want me to go.

You know what, Noodle? I didn't want to go either.