It has been an emotional week. I came home last week to a "Notice to Vacate" on my front door. We have lived in our beloved rental home for five years. I came to this house as a bride and it is the only home Noodlebug has ever known. It was my hope and dream that when I left this house it would be to move into a home of my own. That is not to be. Our landlord has decided to move a family member into the house instead. We have to be out by mid-October. Adding this to the fact that my husband still doesn't have a job after over a year makes everything that much harder.
I started packing and looking at rentals this weekend. The rentals market isn't great because so many former homeowners are flooding it due to foreclosures. I am a nester. I don't need a big fancy home but do need a nice clean space for my family to live in. The rentals I saw (in our price range) this weekend made me cry. They smelled like smoke, had old dingy carpet, ancient appliances and sketchy neighborhoods. I was told I couldn't even paint any of the rooms to make them feel a little less institutional. It was depressing.
I'm really struggling right now to remain positive. I am trying to remind myself of my many blessings. I still have a job with benefits. We still have our health and people who care about us. Those are very big blessings. I haven't forgotten. But I'm having trouble holding it together. Especially when I am surrounded by the memories of everything that took place in our current house. When I look into the backyard at my husband's beautiful vegetable garden and realize that someone else will reap the benefits. When I realize we will have to say goodbye to our wonderful neighbors. It's very hard and there is a lot of grief along with the uncertainty about what will happen to us. All I can do is keep packing and hoping that we'll find a new home soon.
This song has been running through my head lately: