|(not the actual game we played---image source)|
I felt real grief at the death of our goldfish. I am such an animal lover and I wanted to do right by that fish. It felt like some sort of negative commentary on my life that I couldn't manage to keep a goldfish alive. I struggle a lot with envy. I get really angry sometimes that I don't have the opportunity to be a stay-at-home mom. I get frustrated that other people are raising my child while I head to work each and every day. I got it into my head that things with the fish would have been different if I could have been home to take better care of it. I know that is kind of weird but I guess it's the place where I am right now. I'm hoping that this new fish will survive my lifestyle. And I'm hoping I will learn to make peace with it myself.