Friday, January 11, 2013

Friday Blahs and Some Personal Truths

I am feeling a bit under the weather today. Perhaps it is because of the weather itself. It is cold and dreary outside and I would love to be home in front of a fire.  My head is stuffy and achy but I will make it through the day.

On Monday, I will be registering Noodlebug for Kindergarten. This is such a frightening and confusing process.  We are trying to transfer to a school out of our district and I am keeping my fingers crossed that we will get the school of our choice.  In my heart of hearts, I would love to homeschool him. But, as the main breadwinner, I don't have a choice about whether or not I can be a stay-at-home mom.  Sometimes, I will have to settle for "good enough" rather than "best." I just have to trust that I am doing the best I can.

In my mind's eye, I have a clear picture of what I would like my life to be.  There are parts of that dream that may be achievable someday.  There are other parts that I am trying to figure out how to let go of.   Like the fact that I must soon comes to terms with the reality that I will not get that second child I dream of. There is a lot of grief surrounding this realization.  But I am so glad that God allowed me the blessing of having Noodlebug. All is well.

(image source)

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